"What a girl wants, what a girl needs " 1-2-04

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I'm going to say something that no man has ever said with confidence. Upon uttering the words, everyone reading this will laugh and then sigh. You're all not ready for this, but then again nobody is.

That's right, I understand women. I understand how women think, and every day I learn a little bit more about why they think the way they do. Most guys would say women are complicated, but that's not true. The complications are just the surface, but in reality, most women are pretty much the same (just as most guys are pretty much the same).

I pride myself on being able to read people. With just a little information, I'm able to come to a conclusion on the person's background. Women are easy to read, especially the screwed up ones. But unfortunately, that's not what this rant is about. I'm not about to give away my mind-reading techniques. What I am going to do is admit that I had NO IDEA certain women thought THIS. The following is a link to an articleI came across. Read it carefully and then return to my rant.

Wasn't that special? It's now clear why so many women find the jerk. They just DON'T GET IT! Here's the solution to women: They are absolutely clueless. I will admit, being the nicest of nice guys, that article is close. It's kinda like trying to exit the interstate. You've gotta slow down and go on the curvy off ramp. But instead of slowly turning the wheel and exiting the road of insight, women step on the gas and drive right off the ramp into the Ditch of Insolence.

The delusional woman believes the words in that article. That article is a reply of these hosebeasts to a guy actually treating them well. They took the extreme of every possible situation and converted the nice guy into an overbearing, obsessive nerd instead of somebody that might actually genuinely care about a woman. It's really no wonder that so many end up with the scum of the earth. They believe Cosmo-inspired rubbish like that.

Do women really want to be treated like crap? Not usually. There are a certain few that do need that negative treatment because it's what they're used to. But even that is more of a comfort over happiness thing. Even those women don't really want to be beaten and cheated on, but it's almost in their nature to find guys that are morons.

Perhaps it's just the definition of "Nice Guy" that creates a conflict. But more likely, the author of the article is simply a Skankasaurus Rex that needs an excuse for why the only guys she can get are the ones that'll punch her in the face for buying him the wrong kind of cigarettes.

While the word "worship" in defining a women's wants may be a little much, a woman definitely wants some princess treatment. Who wouldn't want to be made to feel special? That's all a nice guy does. There's a difference between a nice guy and a twerp that lacks all necessary social skills. The twerp is the one who spends a ton of money on birthday gifts because he has to express feelings in a poorly disguised display of niceness. The nice guy happens upon an affordable, thoughtful gift and gives without any expectations of reciprocation. Giving a gift is a form of expressing feeling. I agree it can be taken too far, but just because the gift isn't a swift kick to the jaw after a few too many drinks doesn't mean the guy is clingy, self-abasing or insecure.

"They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal."

I hope you all have a mental picture of the twit that wrote that. Somebody who speaks out against putting aside one's own needs to help satisfy another's is clearly a selfish pile of fecal remnant. Most people that I know are happy if a friend, regardless of sex, does something nice. Sure, there are possibly hidden motives with a member of the opposite sex, but WHO CARES?! Be happy some guy thinks so highly of your abrasive personality that he is willing to think of you before himself once in a while. But again, you're not used to that. You're used to the guy who only thinks of you when he's got you in bed, and that's just because he doesn't have enough imagination to think of someone better looking.

The rest of this article includes more generalizations, most of which fall on the border between inane babbling and pyscho-slut nagging. Some guys are afraid of the person they really are so they fake a persona to get the girl, some guys defer to women to make the decisions, and some guys don't have the testicular fortitude to speak up about a situation with which he disagrees. Those guys are, in order, the unintelligent and/or uninteresting, the lazy, and the wimp. The nice guy is who he is. He may be insecure, but he's not NICE if he's faking who he is. The nice guy gives women the option of making a decision. You dumb broads want to be equal, yet you throw a fit when you get the opportunity? You almost deserve to be slapped for that hypocrisy. And a nice guy may give in too much, but I guarantee if he really feels strongly about something he won't back down without compromize.

Let's sum this up: women are not that hard to understand. Clearly not all women agree with the mindless drivel in the article. But the fact that a good percentage do explains a lot. Women aren't stupid. They're ignorant. They just don't get it. So to all you females that don't understand that nice is good, step on that gas, miss the off-ramp and drive your car into a lake.